Marri3d Lif3
Who says I'm not just like you?
Sure, I'm 35, I live in my parent's basement (sub-basement, actually) and yeah, I work at an electronics store. I'm the cliche you all talk about, the guy you make fun of, feel sad for, and pick on when your own life doesn’t go the way you want.
But guess what? I'm happy, just like you.
Her name is Elyria, and I first saw her in the Stonecrest Mountains three months ago. An old farmer one town over had asked me to kill some marauding giants that had accidentally stomped on his oldest son, and since my quest book was empty and the reward was good, I accepted. Halfway through killing my first giant, I caught sight of her.
I'll admit, I took my eyes off of the giant for just a second, long enough for him to slip behind my defenses and rip the shield from my hand. The next thing I knew I was on the end of a very angry giant smash, and I too found myself stomped, though with far more malice than the farmer's son.
Once the gods of the world returned my body, I ran as fast as I could to the spot I'd seen her, but she was gone.
Fortunately, I'm as stubborn as they come, and I searched the server high and low until I tracked her down in a small village in the same zone I'd first seen her. Sitting on a small stool in the inn, she was just as I remembered her; long dark hair caught in a ponytail, red armor glinting in the firelight, and glowing daggers strapped to her hips. She was of a construction “real” women couldn't hope to match, and my breath caught in my throat.
“/whisper hello,” I said.
“/reply hi”, she returned.
“/r U r hawt.” There was no point in beating around the bush; she was exactly what I was looking for. She did a /blush in-game and I saw her cheeks color prettily. There was no question about it: I was in love.
The details aren't important, but suffice it to say that the upper room of the inn saw a great deal of action that day, as did anyone who chose to click on the door as they walked by.
***
Who says I'm not like you?
We have a child now – Alric – we chose his race and class together. We take turns playing him, making sure that he puts on the right gear, that he's picking the right skill points and that he doesn’t fall in with the wrong crowd and start fighting other players. He's going to be a hero, through and through, one that does the end content of the game with a flair others will envy. Elyria wanted him to be a Cleric initially, but I refused, saying he'd get made fun of, especially since the Naruin race is so much larger than the others. I'd countered by saying he should take the path of a Heartrazor, but she felt like that was too aggressive – he'd have no way to heal himself if things got tough.
Finally, we settled on a Monk, and I have to admit, Alric looks damn good in a robe.
Plus, he can throw punches like you wouldn’t believe and if he gets in a tight spot he can call on the gods for a little bit of spot healing to get him through. He's growing up quickly, now, and I worry what we'll do once he hits the level cap. Elyria's been talking like she wants him to join a guild, but I'm sure he's more of the lone hero type.
If I'm being honest, I'm not sure about some of the abilities she's picked for him. I logged on the other day to check up on him – seems like he's growing every day now – and I found a few points she'd put into a Domination talent, one that's used to control other players in his own army. It can be useful in very limited cases, but it's a pretty jackass thing to do, so I called her on it. She had some excuse about it being a “mistake”, but I'm not sure I believe her.
***
No wonder you guys find married life so tough. She's been on my case recently, saying the property we own together in Westrun isn't what she wants. Not only has she been saying it's too small, but she keeps giving me grief over the trophies I've got – she wants me to put them in bank storage, but that's bullshit; I earned them fair and square, and our guests should be able to see them.
Not that we've had many guests, recently, or gone out with a raid group anywhere, for that matter. We've even been ignoring Alric, both of us finding it too painful to log on and remember how things used to be, before we moved in together and started sharing this life. I checked on the credentials of the Priest in the capital that married us, and I've really got no way out – he's been playing since the day the game went live, and his word is as good as law. Picking up and leaving just isn't an option.
She's just not the character I married, or maybe this is what she always looked like under her pixels. I guess fighting giants gets the blood pumping, makes you think less clearly than you should.
***
Well, it's over.
She took half of my stuff from the joint bank with her, along with three-quarters of my gold. I could call a World Master in to help and maybe get some of it back, but honestly I'm just glad to be rid of her. I let her have custody of Alric as well; he's her son now, not mine, and I'm disgusted with the skill build she's given him.
It's back to the daily quest grind for me, alone, heartbroken, and miserable.
Who says I'm not like you?
- D
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